still here- do not steal!

am still here in the background... more soon,

new moon new post

well, time for my biannual post...  I move alot, I can't help but wonder if it's because I'm unstable, if it's that the world is unstable, or if I'm just not meant to be in a stable environment... I really don't want it to be the last,  because I really want a stable environment, one where I have time to work, and know that my boys are safe and happy, and that the cat is still evil. I also don't want it to be the first because then I really have problems. I ask the universe is it really delusional to want to be an artist?  and if not then can I?

annual report of not much- this is not good

howdy all, it's only been a year since my last post.  i just read it and am reminded of what i was trying to accomplish last year.  now that i remember i need to make some decisions about this year. darn...

the good new is that the air conditioning works.

the bad news is that i am terribly forgetful about what it is i'm trying to do.  what is that, you say?  well if i trusted you i might be able to tell you... or is it me that i don't trust?  and that's why i can't seem to remember from year to year , month to month, or day to day what it is i'm trying to do....

if i put it into words and then don't live up to it then what?  i am very frightened of being a bigmouth- you know all talk and no action.   i gotta get some paper and write it there before i can write it here.

and then there's that whole put it out there- give it to the universe kind of ask/pray/offer/ beg for help ( or advice) that writing here possibility-thing that i see so many others do that


i becomed overwhelmed by
bywhat?
and am paralyzed

Sleeping good tonight (i hope)

I feel better today, worked like a dog, the heat didn't kill me but that last table almost did.  Have to move a bunch of stuff tomorrow so that I can start working again...  Oh, by the way we are moving the studio to a different space so that air conditioning (and later heating) can be installed and we, the poor starving artists working there won't drop from heat exhaustion.  It was in the triple digits for two weeks here and who knows how long this overcast weather will last.  Sometimes it's monsoon every day for most of July and other times it's a week on and a week off with the 100's in-between. whoo!  Just depends on the year or how severe this drought that we get out of every other year is.

You know, no you don't cuz I haven't told you- I am working in a studio, well sort of- I work there when I don't have an official job or on my days off.  I don't get paid, I am trying to learn how to become, be, work at being, practice, (?) being an artist? without taking classes to justify studio time...will it work? I think I need several more years practice before I can answer that cuz I just realized about a year ago that it takes me about 3 to 5 years just to settle in to a new home, apartment, city, job-  which means that since I haven't been in town for a year yet that I have at least 2 more to go- man i just rush myself too much and then wonder why i feel like a failure... duh, i don't give myself the time i need do i.  And it only took me 9 years to figure it out!